There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
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