I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
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Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
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Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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