I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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