the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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