so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
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did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize