Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
