have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
