We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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