He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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