this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize