Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
