so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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