there's paper in my vomit.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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