I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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