All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
