Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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