I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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