all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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