i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
