i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
