okay pat passed out under dana's car
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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