I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
