i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Is it penis luge time yet?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize