I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.