Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he shaved USA in his pubs
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
