why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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