i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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