Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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