you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We need to get me chipped asap
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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