Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
