an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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