Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize