WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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