Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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