you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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