he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
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Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
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I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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