seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
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You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
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Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
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