There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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