At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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