Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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