We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
