do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
