her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
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who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
how drunk are you?
Several
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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