he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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