This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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