my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
