also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
