Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
no, he came in my armpit
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
