just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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