if i can run in heels then i can drive
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
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