The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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