omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
