The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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