Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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