ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
