and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
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I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i out mim tonsoeep
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