I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
