I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize