I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize