after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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