my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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